❖ If you have zero sense of humor -- please close your browser right now
❖ If you do not understand sarcasm -- please google "sarcasm" immediately
❖ If you're still clinging to archaic, outdated, Pageant Patty pageantry -- void of fun and laughs -- shut down your Commodore 64 with the floppy disk drive, buy an iPhone, have a few glasses of wine, and then come back and read the…...Top 25 Most Annoying Pageant Phrases
I've done it...you've done it...we ALL have done it.
We are ALL guilty of spouting off cliche pageant sayings over the course of pageant weekend -- in person, online, over texts -- in hopes of sounding intelligent, informed, and understanding. In an effort to prevent the recycled pageant phrases of yesteryear from haunting us any further, and to spark some ORIGINALITY, let's identify some of these annoying phrases.
NOTE: Although we didn't use any infamous YouTube punchlines in the likes of "maps", "such as", or "the Iraq", we kept to the more common and annoying sayings you're familiar with hearing each pageant season (including commentary) beginning with...
These honorable mentions initially did not make the Top 25 list, but certainly deserve to be:
USAGE: I stand out because I'm not the typical pageant girl.
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: Pageant's over! Let me hand you the crown right now.
USAGE: Girl, those judges are blind. You should've won!
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: Thanks for the inspirational message, friend.
USAGE: I'm officially retiring from pageants. It's just too political!
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: Oh you were a contestant this year?
USAGE: The best pageant advice I've ever received was to just be yourself!
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: I've tried that the past 7 years.
USAGE: Inner beauty is much more important to me.
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: Lucky for you, this is the Miss "Inner Beauty" beauty pageant.
USAGE: I'm still not sure if she is Top 15 material. This girl is on the bubble for me.
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: GUILTY!
USAGE: Did you see her walk onstage, she is so over the top!
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: Have you been reading the Voy boards again?
USAGE: Although one girl will walk away with the crown, everyone is a winner!
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: It's true, I've seen the trophies.
USAGE: There, there...it's OK honey. You don't need a crown to be a winner!
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: Thanks Mom.
USAGE: Did you see who won? The judges missed the mark with her!
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: Hi, you must be related to the 1st runner-up.
USAGE: I agree with the results. The judges definitely got it right!
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: Nice to meet you. You must be the winner's parents.
USAGE: What did i think about her performance? She nailed it!
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: Gosh, your such a bad liar.
USAGE: That's a great question. The biggest challenge our country faces today is...
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: That's a great way to stall <not really>...it was OK the first time but not the 4th time around.
USAGE: Texas missed it with that one!
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: I'm sure the entire state will continue on despite this tragic blunder.
USAGE: Our pageant system is the most relevant one today.
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: Seriously, the next time I hear the word relevant AND pageant in a sentence, I'm going to jump in front of a bus.
USAGE: She did her best. It just wasn't meant to be.
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: I agree! I totally had her pegged for Miss Congeniality from the get go!!
USAGE: She's a strong competitor. She could make a splash at Miss USA!
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: I'm still determining if this is a compliment or insult.
USAGE: I'm just not feeling her. I don't get all the hype!
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: Wait...I know you...didn't you post the same thing on the message board last night?
USAGE: Can't believe who won…I'm still scratching my head on that one!
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: Maybe it's dandruff.
USAGE: My favorite this year is Pageant Patty….this is her pageant to lose!
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: I'm sure she appreciates the added pressure, pal.
USAGE: What did you think of my girl Pageant Patty? I've been working so hard with her!
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: CAUTION: This won't be the first time you see inappropriate use of a titleholder as a possessive pronoun in this Top 25 list...see #3 down below
USAGE: If I could play basketball with one person dead or alive, it would be Jesus. Jesus is my hero.
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: Lord help me with this one! OK...before I get hate mail, I'm not knocking anyone who shares their faith...in all honesty I respect it. I just think it's annoying when it's clearly insincere and it's the default response to a tough question. And yes, I would love to ball with Jesus. Carry on.
USAGE: Don't feel so bad about your placement, the pageant was rigged!
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: $5 million dollars says it wasn't.
USAGE: She should've won tonight…she was robbed!
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: And she looks like she got mugged too. #SorryNotSorry
USAGE: ...and that's what I think about social media in today's society. Thank you!
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: You're welcome. Now go away.
USAGE: Coming to you from the state that brings you Channing Tatum…I AM…Pageant Patty!
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: You sure are.
USAGE: I'm surprised with tonight's results. Different night, different set of judges
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: DUH.
USAGE: Yay! I got 11 of 16 in the Top 16! #PageantExpert #ImTheBest #LookAtMe
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: Good for you. No one really cares Mr. Pageant Expert. #HeresACookie
USAGE: I'm YOUR Miss Teen Solar System 2013, Pageant Patty!
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: Hooray, I get my very own national titleholder! …Really? NO! ...and quit it with the possessive pronouns already.
USAGE: When it was the Final 2...I CALLED IT…she was my pick to win!
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: Impressive feat...I win 50% of the time when flipping a coin too.
USAGE: Is this real life? OMG...My good friend…Pageant Patty...just won Miss Universe! I die!!
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: Just because she accepted your friend request on Facebook last week doesn't automatically make you BFFs
If you ever get bored at a pageant, during intermission, or even after it's concluded here's a FUN GAME to play using a combination of Annoying Phrases:
Using Annoying Phrases: 2, 21, and 14
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: Called it! The judges definitely got it right. She could make a splash at Miss USA!
Or you can get really fancy like this...
Using Annoying Phrases: 13, 1, 16, 18, 5, 8, 23, and 7
❖ thePageantGuy.com says: I'm still scratching my head on that one. My good friend Pageant Patty...it just wasn't meant to be. Texas missed it with that one, But you know what they say, "Different night, different set of judges". I still think she was robbed, but you don't need a crown to be a winner. Thank you!
This article was written by Will the Pageant Guy
I'm the Guy at thePageantGuy.com